Oops been awhile

Ok so it's been a long time since I've posted something here, I'm definitely a slacker! I totally loved having my parent's here last month, so much was done that we would have had trouble getting to ourselves. I feel totally blessed.

The girls seem to be on an relentless mission of being sick and driving me marginally insane with lack of sleep. We had a couple of back to back colds then an double ear infection finally to get a decent night sleep and argh, they are sick again. James has had to work a lot of extra hours of late so he's not been able to help much and frankly I'm getting cranky now after a three nights of barely any sleep I'm not a perky Mommy, all I can say is thank goodness I don't work or I'd be a wreck.

This last week has brought back some old people from EQ which has been fun reconnecting again. I admit I went cold turkey and turned my back on them and the game a few years ago because it just got a bit too ugly for me. I got tired of it in the end and burnt out and well other things came into my life. I will not be playing again but it's nice to reconnect.

I've also been industrious in the garden this week and actually like you know done and hours of weeding every day this week. This has also given the girls a good chance at some fresh air as well, runny noses and all. Not that it's a bad thing.

Anyway I'm planning some exciting stuff I think for next week and I'm looking forward to trying a couple of new recipes and ideas out, if they don't work it's not the end of the world by any means.

I'm hoping to write the Xmas cards tomorrow, and gosh I guess I need to also write an update letter as well. Sheesh I feel I'm totally unprepared for things as per normal, maybe next year?!

Busy times

Ok so the last month I've really been out of things. I admit it I really do. I've been busy with Mum and Dad and just getting things done and trying to relax. It's been blessing and I'm going to miss them. I'm so happy to be in our house tho and it's made things a lot more comfortable for all rather than being in the apartment.

We did thanksgiving dinner early on the weekend with Debbie and Matt. Ah what a lovely meal, and dragged the girls out to Chili's this evening. I'm so proud of my little ladies they are fast growing up, I had both of them blowing kisses today. Still pretty tired as the girls have been sick the last week and I keep hoping for a full night's sleep.

Ah the house, my Dad has been a trooper getting a lot of things done for us, now just to figure out the lamps in the girl's bedroom and putting a cover over the vent in the roof and we should be in good shape for the winter.

Crazy times

Ok so having 2 under the weather children and at least one sick parent sucks. It's been a challenge to keep my sanity the last few days, however the indulgence of a warm bath on Sunday and a haircut on Saturday helped to temper things a bit. My poor girls noses have been running and running which has posed a challenge chasing after them around the living room with kleenex only to have it snatched from your hands when you get close enough to wipe...on the bright side they haven't been too grumpy although Mum had to get up a few times last night due mostly to poor breathing. Ah well I know they need to get sick but urgh, I could also do without the cough I have as well. I have a horrible feeling I have bronchitis again as I did last year right when I found out I was pregnant...er wait last year, that would have been almost 2 years ago now rather than last year.

Happy my family are on their way over and enjoyed Dolores's visit last week as well. Hmmm bath good bath good. Hehe ok so it was just dreamy to sit and soak for an hour, close the door have a glass of wine and relax with a good book. Heaven I tell ya heaven.

So I'm starting to gear up for the girls birthday party on the weekend, I have a list of things I want to get and do for it, however I'm also waiting for Mum to make a final decision. Hey Mum's know these things, I have ideas and plenty of them the question really I do. I just need to figure out my final numbers and of course somewhere along the line I need some decorations too. I have a budget so...

Shout out for a friend's blog

I knew Kavita and Pete back before they were married and were attending Warwick University. They were part of the filmsoc and the crowd that I hung with, including my ex-husband. It seems like a lifetime ago it really does. But anyways if you haven't checked it out, and you love food her blog is a great read, Kavey Eats. I have to admit I am inspired at times by her food descriptions. Hehe of course after each entry I have a craving to enter the kitchen.

But then again any that know me know that lately I have been back in the kitchen and experimenting a bit more with food again. I'm even tempted to try to make my own lemon curd! Yep you read it right, now if only I can find the right storage jar for it tho...but I have all the ingredients.

My love of cooking was inspired first by my Mum many years ago, getting in the kitchen and baking with her, then by the weird creations my Philipp used to make. Then I got lazy I admit it, however the last year I've re found the love of cooking through Rachael Ray.

So with an easy dinner tonight of thawed out french onion soup (made from scratch) I'm going to attempt a trifle (from scratch including the custard!) and yes I made the sponge!

Ooops

Oops haven't posted a blog entry for awhile...not that I've really had that much to say. Starting to make acquaintances down at the library at least as I tend to see the same set of Mum's most visits. In fact due to the suggestion of one of the Mum's that I try to let one out at a time I did decide to keep Abigail penned up in the stroller and let Isabel have free reign. Oh were the other Mum's delighted by her antics :) I have to admit she was pretty good only really once running off and trying to leave the room. Otherwise she was content to move around the room and even knocked humpty dumpty off the wall. At another point we were singing and she was dancing along facing the audience instead of Shirley our reader but hey she had everyone entranced. I had to bring her back to me a couple of times but most were pretty tolerant of her which was nice to see. At least I feel it's a pretty safe environment for her to be in so I'm not overly worried and having other people around Abigail meant I wasn't adverse to leaving her in there when I had to. So Monday Isabel gets strapped in and Abigail to roam.

I've ordered their Halloween costumes and I'm starting to make mental lists of things for the party. I might look up some games for the kids although in general they are going to be of such diverse ages I'm wondering. At least I'll have some things for a goodie bag for them to take home. Oh gawd are they really about to turn one on me?! My life has changed so much in the last 18 months it's not even funny. Yeah I say 18 months being pregnant kind started the changes. Yet in some ways it's not changed all that much. Kind of interesting.

Anyway lets see this week food...well the girls happily ate what we had for dinner on Monday night, meatloaf, mashed potatoes and zucchini and they had a little cake and strawberries for dessert. Other than that I've been using the old faithfuls this week, except for last night where I tried this chicken cesear pizza out. James loved it and I mean LOVED it. Which is surprising as there is cheese and anchovy paste in this recipe. I have to admit it did taste pretty good. So as I had purchased the pizza dough on a coupon with a buy two get $1.00 off deal I'm going to do a reprise tonight. This isn't a bad thing as I'm just pushing some of tonight's meals off onto next week so should make for a slightly cheaper food bill next week (I'm hoping). I have to admit I'm struggling at the moment to keep it low and I'm not sure why this week's should have been small...

I'm also thinking about getting pumpkin and doing something spectacular with that...I'm not sure yet what but I'm thinking....

Moving on

Well we have definitely been missing our beloved pookie kitty and received a sweet note from the vet but we also need to move on. Josie has been going from room to room looking for her (well it appears that way whether she is or not she can't tell us). I still shed a tear here and there but at the end of the day we know we gave her a good life and she is up with the great fly hunt in the sky. I almost miss the chasing shadows in the middle of the night and wake Momma up any more. Perhaps if circumstances were different we would have noticed changes in her behaviour but given the disruptions of the last year with the introduction of the girls to her home and then moving it would have been hard and it's life. I think I preferred it this way to be honest, and I don't think she was in that much pain until the end.

Ok so moving on, we managed to get the attic fan installed back in which given the temperatures the last few days and what they are predicting in the next week is a good thing! It's helping to bring the temperature down in the living areas. The ceiling fans are another matter it's really getting to warm to spend a lot of time up there and we just aren't sure how we need to wire this up. I think that perhaps with James's and Matt's connections they will work it out eventually.

RIP Lani

I'm gonna miss you baby but I am comfortable you led a good life if somewhat shorter than expected. You were a sweet cat, playful full of life had the prettiest, softest of fur I just hope these last few days you haven't suffered too much, sorry love. Honestly the decision to let you go was easy and I'm relieved it wasn't anything I did, and from the sounds of it I don't think we could have done anything differently.

I will remember you fondly, how can I not from the first time we saw you to when we brought you home. Always the mischief maker and now who is gonna catch them flies?! Josie? I don't think so! I'm going to miss the leg hugging and the crawling up under the sheets. Gosh last week I remember you going silly while under the sheet so full of life I'm only sorry baby you had to end it so soon.

You were a beautiful cat with a good soul have fun up there honey gonna miss ya.

Lani passed fighting to the end but purring. James was with her petting her and they had to give her a 2nd dose of the sedative before she gave in, my dear dear friend love you.

Success

Ok I was wondering what to expect with story time at the local library yesterday...would it be just a simple librarian sitting reading a story with the children on the floor listening in a quiet corner of the library, alright so that's what I was expecting however wow, the kids were given a floor show! By some sheer miracle I was actually there early having tried to be an over achiever that morning making an almond-pear cake, cook the butternut squash and get the girls up on my own all before 9 am which didn't happen but I was close so as 9:45 having finished breakfast I was hmm do I try to make this or do I wait until Wednesday... Ah no I rallied got the girls changed, shoes and socks...(I think we need bigger shoes for Isabel already /sigh) got us all into the car and headed off down to the library.

Got us all unpacked and managed to be there with 10 minutes to spare! Har I'm good :) I didn't really need to ask where the baby / toddler reading group was going to be as it was pretty obvious from the gathering in a corner of munchkins and babies already a fair size. So 10:30 the doors to an area in the back opened and we all filed in...they had a bunch of chairs for the adults, a computer and a felt board set up at the front with a line delineating where the lady was going to have her things to read stories to the children. She got her microphone set up and then started to explain that she needed room so that everyone could march around and that signing and participation were actively encouraged. I'm thinking wow this could be interesting, so I settle in at the end of a row with the girls in the push chair wondering if I want to take them out or let them be, I opted for keeping them in the chair just in case as it was our first time. Oh I think they are going to be let loose next time. So she starts and out come puppets! And her felt board and oh wow! She does some sign language she does counting, she does animals and everyone is following and joining in. We all had a fantastic time and I can't believe the quality of story time oh and did I mention music as well? Cudos to Livermore library and I can say for sure we will be back for more.

Only downside is the girls fell asleep in the car on the way home and once we got home I couldn't get them back to sleep until late in the afternoon so they really didn't have their normal naps which meant for tired grumpy children in the evening with Auntie Debbie, but it also meant for an uninterrupted nights sleep yay!

Oh and I feel here I need to mention good grief what a dinner last night! We had skirt steak marinated in cola, paprika, EVOO and lime juice. I had James get the grill flaming hot and we good to go. The steak was just so tender...and I made my own salsa with fresh lime juice and the flavours just complimented each other so well. The rest of the meal I cheated a bit with hard shell tacos from the store and a pre made slaw mix but easy, delicious and even the boys enjoyed it. Ah I love finding things everyone likes :) Oh and dessert ahhh almond-pear cake so tasty and there is enough of that left for today to go with the chicken piccata tonight.

Of course all of this is now tempered with the somber news that Patrick Swazye passed away. I admit it I had a crush on him when I was younger I mean who didn't when he danced with Jennifer Grey? Probably one of my favourite all time movies, and who didn't weep with ghost? He was just a good guy who worked hard who had a wonderful marriage with a long time sweetheart. Honey you fought for her and you and you have left a lasting impression, you will be missed.

Tea and relaxation

It's been a great weekend so far, cooled down to something more bearable, James has not really had to work as well which is nice given the week he had and has been able to regain a little sanity. I'm able to now enjoy a lovely pot of tea in the china and hoping that when the girls are older they will gain my love of tea so we can have a party:)

Granny and Granddad Apple will show up in 5 weeks, looking forward to their company! Will have to make sure we do some things while the weather is nice. I'm thinking a trip to the zoo again, hmm maybe down the coast if it's not too cold and maybe to see the redwoods. There are a ton of places to explore around here and I know I haven't even touched the surface of them.

I'm also planning our first trip to the library on Monday for story time, lets see how the girls behave at least someone else will be reading and I can hopefully keep them under control, wish us all luck.

Abigail is doing fabulously and taking steps every day which is nice to see. Ah the sheer pleasure of sitting enjoying the peace and quiet in our home is wonderful. Oh I'm sure the novelty will wear off eventually but still it will be our home really...we an decorate and paint it the way we like, eventually...for now well we make do and mend and there are plenty of projects to keep us busy. Ah but but but it's quiet and peaceful right now. Ok I admit there is noise from the school during the week and more traffic but weekends oh the bliss. I also enjoy driving around here and seeing the lovely hills and mountains it's it's home. Not sure why I'm so happy here but I am, gosh I'm even thinking about the wine festival next year and taking a pleasant walk around downtown Livermore.

New Recipes...

So I've been trying out some new recipes this week including a very nice summer-strone one that we all had last night including the ladies who seemed to also approve, tonight I'm trying a watermelon gazpacho with shrimp which the concept just interests me. The summer-strone used couscous to bulk it out and was flavoured with fire-roasted tomatoes, cucumber, zucchini, paprika and topped with fresh parsley, grated lemon rind and parmesan cheese, all in all a very satisfying soup that the whole family enjoyed definitely going to have to do that one again.

Rachael Ray's new season starts next week so I'll be getting fresh ideas from there too, Mum and Dad watch out :) I even commented to James last night I just don't miss eating out much at all and the new dinners make meal times interesting and full of flavour. I've kind of mapped out my menus for next week but I'm thinking of modifying them a little as it seems an awful lot of ingredients, alright so I know my fridge is somewhat empty but even so it just seems a lot, admittedly most of it will be from the veggie aisle and I'm using up meat...(ponders the situation at hand).

Hoping today is not going to be as hot as it's forecast...I really don't like the 100's they can go back to where they came from please...I get especially worried about the girls in the hot weather as we still have yet to mount the ceiling fans (hoping this weekend but it has to be cool enough to be up in the attic too for the workers.

I'm also thinking plant pots of herbs...that would help save some grocery bills and we have a nice patio area we could put them on and use them to deter the girls from maybe running and playing too much on the concrete rather than the grass, oh and must get hook. Hey will be nice to have my husband around a bit more this weekend even given the horrific week and weekend he has had.

Here's to a new day

Not even 8 am and I'm done emptying the diaper pail, scooping the cat poop, vacuuming, cleaning the kitchen counter down and sweeping the floor. Yeah I know I wouldn't exactly call myself the cleanest bunny in the world but I'm trying really I am. The garage has been tidied up to the extent we can put the scion in there if we want to, due to the low hang of the opener the van won't be fitting in until we replace the door and mechanism, but I will be glad when it does go in there although I highly doubt we can fit both cars in but you never know the little car is pretty little. I also washed the kitchen and larger bathroom floors yesterday and did my first really good clean of that bathroom. James is planning on mowing the lawn again tonight and I will be cooking burgers. I have to question the thought of actually cleaning my windows tho as I know the moment I clean them dirty hands will be all over them hehe.

So my other list of things to do is a trip to the store just need a few more items for burgers tonight of course in a few hours I get to take a nap with the girls and recharge my batteries so it's all good. We are getting there with homes for most things now and if I look for something and take it out of the remaining boxes I at least don't put it back into the box and find a new place for it.

Looking forward to hitting up the library next week for reading time with the girls should be interesting if nothing else but planning on trying to go a couple of times a week to get us all out of the house.

Lists...

There are times I'm just like my Mother, not that that is a bad thing and I aspire to be like her really I do. I actually plan my meals every week and create my shopping lists and even organize my lists by aisles, crazy I know but it does help to save time in the store really it does and planning meals well that means every night I'm not sitting here thinking what shall we have for dinner and realizing half the time I don't have the items to be able to cook that, either they are in the freezer still or at the store not useful. I actually had a friend say to me but what if you don't feel like that for dinner...well honestly the way I cook these days I never don't feel like that for dinner, most nights we have something different to look forward to, even tho I try to use the same basic ingredients, but it's amazing what you can do with the same ingredients but different herbs and spices, take the last two days for example, we had chicken and couscous two nights in a row, the difference being the first night the chicken was marinated in tequila and lime the next pan fried with breadcrumbs and basil. Ok so she also had an aversion to chicken that wasn't organic and free range, well yes I agree chicken can be a bit tasteless but it's cheap and dressed up you notice the herbs and don't notice the lack of flavour of the meat so much.

So for next week I'm considering a grilled red snapper sandwich...mmm maybe some kebabs, oh my taste buds are tingling!

Up go the blinds

Yay we received the blinds for the kitchen that we ordered oh about a week ago from Lowes and about 7 days earlier than they said they would arrive...so not going to complain. We purchased cellular cordless blinds for the kitchen, I just didn't want untidy cords for the cats to play with or the girls (ok so they aren't going to be tall enough for a long time to play with them but still). It also just keeps the area clean which I like for the kitchen. James ordered them in pepper red and they are a nice colour. It took us oh probably an hour all told to get the first one up...first I tried but I didn't find an instruction leaflet immediately and after about 20 minutes of trying to figure out how the blind when into the brackets I found the instructions with the 2nd blind...and of course I had put the brackets in the wrong way hence the trouble. Not sure why James struggled when the put them brackets up but he took about half an hour to get the blind in (I may have slightly stripped one of the screws). So anyway one blind up another to go. If we ever get spare cash James already wants to switch our other blinds over to the cordless variety, I have to confess I likey but I think the other blinds we have up might be a bit more energy efficient something to look into for sure.

Yesterday successfully cut out another bottle on the girls, I'm slowly slowly weaning them off of the bottles, so now they only have 2 a day, one at 5 am then another before they go to bed. Both girls will drink out of a sippy cup which makes things easier. Kicking my heals at having to delay yet another Dr's apt we are like a month overdue now but can't be helped, it's such a pain in the butt to have to do it on my own I really need that 2nd pair of hands, specially when they have to have injections.

My list of things for the weekend is growing...and James is scrambling around trying to find coverage hehe. But the replacement motor for the fan in the attic has been ordered. Now we have to figure out about the fans (I suspect we will pay for someone to come in and install, James said the wiring in this place is cooky and he's not comfortable doing it at all).

Breathes ah so happy to be in such a lovely place even tho it's got issues, it's so much quieter at night here and far less traffic. Don't get me wrong I loved where we were but...but it wasn't practical and when you have neighbours and a parking lot well you get noise, and there is the freedom of being able to do my chores when I want and not having to worry about running the dishwasher after like 9 pm or the vacuum at 6 am!

The old haunts...

Ah it felt so nice to be shopping back in our old Safeway store in Livermore. It's actually on the opposite end of town from where we live so most of our food stores will come from the smaller downtown store, but oh the treat for going to our old haunt. I always liked that store and it has improved since they finished renovating it (we moved before it was finished). It was a dream to wander down the isles and just know where everything was for the most part, very satisfying and both of us said wow we really feel like we are back at home. Must admit it was a funny thought as in the end we couldn't wait to be done with living in the apartment we rented in Livermore. However, we did have many great nights and Livermore in general feels like an old glove and fits us perfectly.

The wine manager was every so helpful too in the store and we purchased a white wine for dinner based on his recommendation and he even gave us the discount price that the wine was in sale for last week but had just ended ($3.00 off!). So tonight I cooked orange balsamic chicken thighs oh was it delicious and a nice quick recipe, and if you can't get honey pecans just use regular and you can put them in with the sage and butter it works just fine. The wine we paired with this was Champalou 2007, Vouvray. I have to admit the wine and the meal just went well together. Not too dry it uses a Demi-Sec grape most often used now in sparkling wines but this was a still wine. I have to admit the pairing was superb and the wine worth the price as we got it for just over $15.

Such a lovely lovely evening the girls we awake from 1:30 this afternoon and knackered by the time we got them to bed so here's hoping for a peaceful night (yeah right it's too hot I reckon for a good one but we can try).

Managed to hang nearly all the photos and pictures that I have, not too shabby. Was too hot for James to get up in the attic but we did a few other jobs around the house including 5 loads of laundry...we managed to shut the cats up in the spare room and well someone needed to poop. Least they had the courtesy of doing it on the bed cover which is easy to wash rather than the carpet...lesson learned don't shut the door without making sure the cats aren't in there.

Tomorrow we will do the weather proofing on the doors and if it's not too bad we will try to get the fans up, if however it's too hot again we will wait until next week and hope it's going to be cooler or at least try to do it first thing in the morning before it gets too hot up there.

So loving the fact that we can vacuum at 7:00 am if we want to and it will not disturb the neighbours although I'm still hating new carpet. Damn if that carpet didn't clog the vacuum up yet again (mutters), I reckon in about 6 months after cleaning 2 times a week I might get most of the fibers up.

I have to admit I was sitting in the bedroom folding up laundry earlier this evening and I just looked around and had to pinch myself is this really our home? So hard to believe sometimes but it feels good. James is totally loving the peace we have here and not really listening to the downstairs base. We do get to hear the neighbours music but it's never played late in the evening at loud volumes and so far really hasn't disturbed us. Oh and the lack of traffic is noticeable for sure, Lani doesn't have so many shadows to chase after :)

Settling in

Ah I finally feel like we are starting to settle in to our new home. Still lots to do but I was able to put up some of our pictures and cross stitch which just makes a whole lot of difference. It's turning out to be a warm ending to the week, thank goodness for the cool mornings although things were pretty stuffy first thing even at 5 am. It's nice to be able to open up all the windows and try to air things out before the day heats up. I will be glad for the weekend when James and Matt are going to try to put the fans up. Why oh why is it like around Labor Day the weather heats up to almost unbearable? I think last year was the only one where it wasn't up around 100, which is just as well seeing as I was heavily pregnant at the time. Gosh has it really be a year?

Amazing how quickly time goes by. While putting up my few family photos I realized I was lacking badly in framed pieces of my children. Now I know I have the frames it's just a question of finding them and then finding the right picture, maybe that will be my project for next week. I'm also aware we need photos to be taken of the girls in a dress. I'm thinking the soonest we can do that is about their birthday, we will have extra pairs of hands available and if we are gonna do this I would like the grandparents in there as well.

Looking forward to going out today for lunch, I'm also planning on driving up to my husband's work so he can have a drink after work. Just hope I can find somewhere cool for the girls. Our hope is year after next we can get central air installed, next year we have to get the roof done. Then after that well who knows, but central air would be a bit more efficient than the a/c units we use now and I am baffled a bit as to how the heaters are gonna work in the winter. Course those heater units are going to need a guard around them as little hands and all that tend to go where they shouldn't.

Getting things sorted out...

Wow we have a lot of work still ahead of us. Today we did the hardware store...got a border for the girls room and a few stickies to make it a bit more colourful, also picked up a neat looking fan which we will install eventually hehe. Also got ourselves a ladder so we can get up into the attic and a garden hose so we can actually wash the car! (wonders will never cease). Realized that the van will not fit into the garage with the current door and opener it just comes too low, so that is one of the things we will be putting the tax refund towards.

The stupid bath plug is giving us grief, Matt has fixed it twice already and my husband once (at least Matt showed James how to fix it!). Stupid thing I have a feeling we will have to replace the fixture. Hmm what else have we achieved oh yes, the pine shelving unit now has a home, I will apologize in advance the guest room is er cramped but it does have a nice queen bed, but I hate not putting anything in that room as it would be a waste of space and room, so currently the bookcase resides behind the door and the pine unit at the foot of the bed, on the bright side there is still room to walk around it...I've also put in a table and lamp so there can be light at least. It's functional and clean and cheaper than a hotel room at least :) And well ok so it doesn't have an en-suite bathroom but there will be free home cooked meals to make up for it.

My lovely wonderful husband is out trying to get blinds for the kitchen, sorry but I wanna be able to walk around in a spaghetti top and knickers and not scare off the school kids and neighbours in the morning, it's too bloody warm sometimes to wear much else.

Got two lovely fans for the living room and girls bedroom, looking forward to getting those up and working eventually. So glad that I am married to a practical man and have a great friend with an equally awesome husband who is also a good fixer upper. On the positive side of things this is our home, we don't share any walls the kids can make as much noise as they want and I'm not worrying about waking anyone. The kitchen I'm still in love with no really I am it's big and wonderful and I have plenty of work space. Life is good and even tho we might have the occasional bicker and we get frustrated now and then we still love each other and we work at it. We have to life would be so difficult with the girls otherwise.

Where to put things...

I think the hardest part of this move has been trying to figure out where to put the pine unit. Now this piece of furniture has been with me almost since I moved here to the states it was one of the pieces Philipp and I bough when furnishing our apartment in Jersey City. It went with me to Maplewood and has been very useful for storage with nice deep draws and shelves, in Dublin it was crammed with games and everything else under the sun. We have more storage here but it's still a good place to keep the wireless printer and other things such as my cook books until I can get them out into the living room area and that's not going to be for awhile yet. Yet I have found the spot! I didn't really want it out in the man cave...didn't feel like going out there every time I wanted a cook book and it's great storage for my photograph albums. Ah just need James to come home tonight and move it into it's new home. It has a lot of memories for me some good some bad but it's also just been a very solid piece of furniture I would hate to part with.

The bedroom is almost almost there, ok so the closet is a mess still but at least I nearly have everything away again in the bathrooms. Between us yesterday I think we managed to almost unpack about 4 boxes of stuff. I think the next problem I'm going to have is deciding where to put my pictures and needlework, hmm Debbie she has a good eye I think I'll have to enlist her help as I just don't have a good feel for it yet.

Ah the guilty pleasure of knowing that this stuff is going to be in it's place for awhile now. Last 6 years we have moved 3 times now and each time I've dreaded it...this last one was the hardest by far with the addition of 9 1/2 month daughters to have to care for in the mix. At least everyone now is starting to settle down and well we shouldn't have to move again if ever. The girls have a garden to play in, Mum has storage and a guest room. Ah breath breath breath. Will take the girls for a walk this morning too:) First one in a long long time and I'm kinda looking forward to it.

I'm home...

After many years of living in the US we now have a permanent home and the bliss, the sheer bliss. This is my home I feel alive here I really do. I have the best friends in the world near me and I can take my girls out of the house even if it's only to the backyard. I'm almost loving my kitchen if only the microwave actually worked but we are working on that one. Cats are starting to settle back in and emerge from their holes. The living room is child proof yay! No more having to worry about the fireplace...and the girls actually have more space to move around and play in too. Mum can actually work on the PC and keep every out of little arms reach. I'm more relaxed for sure and it's not made so far a noticeable dent in James's commute. It does help that this time we are on the west side of Livermore and not the east surprising how much of a difference that actually makes.

We do have a list of things that we desperately need a fan in the girls room is pretty much our top priority followed by a fan in the living room. I've come up with a cunning plan to make a computer work station area in the walk in closet in the master bedroom, but that does require power in there...

Ah so much to do but at least we can take the time to do it and do it right. I honestly think I'm going to be very happy here and shortly I plan on reaching out and making trips here there and everywhere with the girls.

Nothing much to say at the moment

So I haven't posted here recently, but I've found that recently I just don't have an awful lot to say. Em hi! Alright, alright but I did say something really I did. We should get the keys to the house today, weee! After we get that achieved we have sooo much to do, my head is barely getting around the concept. I have too much time on my hands to think about it yet too little time to actually do anything practical to help. Confused? Well I spend a lot of time with the girls which frees my mind up but not my hands. One of these days I'll figure out how I can get them to sleep in their cribs during the day but man it's hard. They don't understand the concept of nap time yet and to get them both asleep it generally takes holding them and then it's almost impossible to put them down when you have both hands full. That my friends is the hardest part of all about twins coz as much as possible you want them on the same schedule, but my girls just don't like falling asleep on their own. Let them cry, yeah right I let one cry that wakes the other up, I have been able to do it a few times and put them down on the sofa but well yeah, generally I prefer the lets all just take a nap together solution. Given half the time I'm working on limited sleep anyway it's not such a bad thing.

I do manage to get things done during the day, kind of...once they start playing with each other I can generally leave them alone for a few minutes go take a shower, put some laundry on, do some dinner prep that kind of thing. Cleaning em yeah right...might be easier in the new house where we don't have extractor fans in the bathrooms. I frequently manage to wash up at least during the day, although the house will have a new dishwasher so I'm hopeful that I can use that at least.

The girls at least will have more room to move around and explore and wreck yay! And I hope being able to get out more with them more fresh air and sunlight, hehe and more sunblock. I have hopes that I can do a bit of gardening with the girls outside with me.

Ah the possibilities are endless. I'm glad we are moving when the girls are so young I still remember the one move we did when I was 5 and the trauma of it! I hated to leave my old room and my friends, oh I got over it, but I still hated it. My girls are not even going to remember this apartment I hope.

Marching merrily along

So the end of August is looming, I will be happy once the move gets underway and I see more of my husband again. He's been packing in the overtime to help pay for everything, I don't begrudge it at all but still I miss him. Not sure how we are managing to get boxes packed around the kids but we are lol. Still this weekend should be the last of the major overtime before the move other than the bits he has to do with up coming projects.

We have a bed yay! Ok I know it's not 'new' but it's not that old and well it's gonna really help. Been scouring craigslist for items, plenty of washer dryers out there so will probably leave it till the week before we actually move. Gonna owe Matt and Debbie big time me thinks, but I'll make up for it in the kitchen or something. Two weeks from tomorrow...huff, pant wheeze. Plenty of things to be done, more packing (kitchen scares me), we sign the loan documents a week from tomorrow, ah but the bliss!

Hey I noticed this morning that my psoriasis is actually finally seemingly under control, wow. Ok there is no cure I know that but I did notice that there is less scaling and redness so I guess the stuff I've been using is working /does a little happy dance. Ya know I can live with it I just need some help with the itching that drives me insane more than anything else.

Watched some of the SYTYCD show from last night, oh wow that was one of the best solos from Brandon that anyone has ever done, it took my breath away to just watch his body moving with such control. Ok so maybe it was because he was dancing in just a pair of tight spandex shorts but still wow. He really did bring it and /sigh I just love watching him dance. Next week is going to be the final. I will miss the show while it's off the air, I'm a fan I admit it, I love watching the forms of dance, ok we have our not so good performances but still.

Some neighbour was up till 12:30 with power tools last night, thinking to ourselves I'm so glad we are moving. Fortunately the girls slept through it just had one brief stirring for half an hour from Abigail but got her back to sleep and she was fine for the rest of the night so no complaints.

I cannot wait to be moved in and exploring cooking again...gave the girls butternut squash last night with some curry in it, oh they are gonna be used to eating this stuff if it kills me :) Personally I don't see why they won't like Mummy's cooking but we shall see. Got a fine steak and potato soup for dinner tonight with baked pastry wrapped onions, got my fingers crossed that this will be another resounding hit.

Packing...

OK I hate packing for moving and it is harder now we have kids on top of cats. However we have made some progress as we really can't afford to leave it to the last minute. Course James is packing in last minute overtime where he can so we have a little bit of extra cash here and there. I'm starting to scour craigslist for bargains not really bought anything yet but there is stuff out there that might be useful. I'm thinking if we go for 2nd hand stuff we can get more and stretch the budget out some more, it's just a bummer that anything we get now we have to find storage for but at the same time the right thing at the right price and well the movers can move it later.

Why oh why tho after the last few years we have downsized considerably the amount of stuff we have, does it seem we have too much junk? We got rid of bucket loads of books the last time we moved and we have downsized that even further since we lost our 'office' to a nursery, but there still seems to be a lot of books darn it!

The kitchen scares me, yep I admit it the kitchen plain out scares me I have a lot of stuff in it, pots pans etc, that's gonna take some work, although I'm working on the consumable portion of it but still there is a lot there. Oh and the girls don't exactly help as as much as I put stuff in boxes is tends to end back out again, not useful.

Ah however the prospect of not having to do a move again for a long time is sooo appealing. And well I'm looking forward to the cooler days ahead but still pleasant enough so that the girls can go outside and play and Mum can perhaps do some gardening (it really is a lovely garden).

The roof has been patched so it will survive winter, just as well as if the forecasts are right we are in for a wet one this year, not that it will be a bad thing and we do desperately need more rainfall, but holes in the roof would be a bad thing:)

I still feel a little in limbo right now but I'm looking forward to the future. I plan on trying to find a play group, walking, gardening (let's see how many plants I can kill!), and basically having more of a life again. Not really wanted to do much of this as I knew where we are now was only temporary, but I'm looking ahead to being far more permanent. I know we are going to have work to do, but the payoffs /sigh.

Quiet Moments

I love sitting watching my girls sleep sometimes...specially when I see Isabel curled around Abigail so peaceful, unfortunately half the time Abigail is plastered to my leg and I cannot move without waking her. Ah well could be worse I guess :) They have been laughing and playing with each other again today. Nice to see that they can occupy themselves. And thinking of the twins makes me think of that 'worlds oldest new mother' who died recently. Now at 65 or whatever she was to have IV treatment, lie about her age and find 3 years later she is dead from a tumor. Now ok I know some people live to be over 100 as her mother did but seriously there is a reason why women cannot conceive beyond a certain age. It's cases like this and Nadia Suleman that give IV treatments a bad rap. Now IV helps thousands of people who are having trouble conceiving, that I have no problem with, friends I know have had help and this world would be missing wonderful creatures without it. But can we like like have a sense of responsibility?

I sometimes wonder where responsibility for our actions or the lack of taking responsibility and blaming everyone else or anything else for why things don't turn out right when arguably we made a bad choice. Instead of looking to lay blame elsewhere stand up and admit you made a mistake.

Mind is starting to work overtime!

Ok now we know the loan is approved my mind is starting to spin into overdrive. Now it's just trying to manage the logistics of actually moving a household including the girls and the cats (move day is gonna be interesting!). Inside my head are churning lists of things that need to get done and to think it's gonna be three weeks away...want examples? I'm going through the freezer and cupboards looking at what I have and what we can use up in the next few weeks to minimize the amount of food stuffs to move. I'm thinking ok weekend we need to go shopping for washer / dryers or at least go look at them not sure we should buy until we actually move but I'm already doing research online. Furniture...we need desperately a new mattress for the bed, we will need an office chair again and some seating for the room outside.

I'm contemplating the kitchen and the 4 days we are going to use to move, what things can be packed away, ie what is the minimum in utensils and cookware I need to be able to provide food for a few days.

Then there are the final things we need to do. Urgh poor James something tells me he's gonna get email lists of things to do! It's bad I can't actually do much during the day other than think about this stuff...oh then there is the change of address wee! Post office/driver's license addresses to update oh and toyota financing for the car loan and AAA to contact re the renters insurance and the change of policy address, bank accounts...hmm (oh I hate doing that stuff I really do but hey). Joys of being home all day and not really having much else to occupy my time.

Health Care Crisis in the US

Some would have you believe that health care doesn't need fixing and that the US government doesn't need to step in well I hate to get political too much but this is something I feel very very strongly about and ya know what I think the government does need to step in coz something has to change. Here is my biggest issue, I'm currently insured as are both my children however, even with double insurance I still had out of pocket expenses last year and some bills were still pretty steep, what it would have been like if I didn't have insurance I don't want to even know. The uninsured numbers have been growing as has the number of those without jobs, where do those people get health care? Ok I know I'm sorta spoilt I grew up in the UK where we had universal health care, so it's also got it's problems but at least I could go to a hospital and it didn't cost me anything to get medical care and yes there are sometimes long waits to see specialists but frankly that's no different from here even when you are insured!

The cost of health care to employers is astronomical and some are having to cut back on health care because of the cost. So where does that leave the uninsured? Having to fork out thousands of dollars in health care or the state picking up the bill, so if the state is picking up the bill or the government on medicare why shouldn't they have a say where money is being spent? Why should the people with insurance get higher and higher premiums to cover the short costs and the whole system be clogged up with too much administration?

Where would I be without insurance? Probably unable to get the medications to slow MS? Where would I get basics such as birth control? Blood pressure? Something has to be done with the system as it is or we are going to see costs radically continue to out strip inflation. The US has one of the worst medical care plans for the 'Western' world, do you see a pattern? We are closing emergency care facilities in places like Atlanta where population has grown and more people are relying on that care. If we had a centralized government system where we we all were contributing through social security we might actually have something a bit better that works it's not socialism, it's working to help provide cost efficient practices that will benefit us and our children all our children and our future.

Will today be the day?

Will today be the day we get good news and the loan finalized for the purchase of a house? I was dreaming about it again last night...not so much the house but having to go out again and look for something else and the nightmare of trying to find something in our price range. It's getting ugly again in the real estate market I think if we don't get this place we might be in trouble trying to find something else. The problem is a lot of FHA buyers coming out of the woodwork so there is a lot of competition specially here as the housing prices are finally somewhat affordable.

Ah the thought of returning back to Livermore gladdens my soul tho. I just love the city not sure why but it just feels like home, Dublin is such a no mans land really it's got no real character to it. I'm actually looking forward to putting down more roots making more friends, trying to find a baby / toddler group, and the prospect of actually being able to get out of the house again. Gah I sound a bit like a broken record, but, it's just so damn close!

Looking good

Yay things are looking good that everything will go through with the house, will know by Monday / Tuesday of next week if there are any other hurdles to climb after that should be fairly plain sailing. The house will need some work over time, new roof in a year or so, new water heater, piping, might need a new wall ac unit in the bedroom...but nothing that with a bit of tlc we can't over come.

Had a fun week this

week with the girls...I treated James and I to a bar of chocolate Wednesday night after fulfilling my annual obgyn obligations (sheesh in 2 years I will have to start mammograms! I'm not that old am I? damn I gu

ess I am). Anyway little treat given I was prodded and well yes anyway. So that evening went fine and dandy woke up the next morning in a wonderful mood and for the most part everything was ticking along merrily. I was enjoying a lovely cuppa joe, checking email and facebook on the computer, and I had the tv on watching the season premier of Leverage. I admit I wasn't paying a whole lotta attention on the girls, they were off doing their thing playing (well interacting) with each other chatting along no big deal, that is until Isabel comes along by the sofa and looks up at me and I notice her hands...my first thought was oh did I

drop a piece of chocolate last night...and sat back non plussed for a moment...then I looked down and my next thought was OH SHIT! Quite literally my wonderful child was covered in it, as was the carpet...after clean up 2 baths and 6 poopy diapers, and poor Abigail with a very very sore red bum Mum has discovered pears are not a good idea at the moment. And for some reason this whole episode seems to be the highlight of my

week.

We did get to go look at the house again and actually spend more time there. I fell in love with the kitchen even more when we opened some of the cabinets and saw pull out shelving in a lot of them...yay I can reach the pots and pans easily in the back! We will have some work to do on the house, some of the pipes will need to be replaced down the line and the hot water heater needs attention very soon. The roof will also need to be replaced in a year or two which is something to bear in mind. I was hoping we could make a trip out to New Mexico next year I'm sorta well yeah something tells me we might have to see how things go with the house and our pennies. I'm now starting to make a mental list of all the things we are gonna need and trying to prioritize the order of things so we can stretch our bucks as far as we can make em go.

On the bright side Debbie and Matt are gonna be around all August which will mean we can have a hand with the move. We will hire movers for the big stuff I wouldn't expect them to move the tv and shit but the more of the little stuff we can move ourselves the cheaper it will be.

Rachael Ray what can I say about the woman...she is inspirational, I have a new love of cooking again, I've been breaking out old recipes and learning new ones. Heck I've even been inspired to make bread and butter puddings saving up all my old scraps of bread and making pavlovas! I was watching her show this week and I have this craving to whip up a brunch and invite Debbie and her family over once we move! I really do love cooking again, I used to be too damn tired with the job to even want to thing about it, but now I'm trying new things again, it's funny I don't even miss eating out any more, half the time I think my food is better anyway! I do get to mix things up and add in indian dishes every now and then and plenty of pasta dishes and we get chinese influenced meals as well, I have to admit even I am proud of my menu plans and I don't repeat myself too often to get boring, often every week or every other week I find a new dish to try to mix things up. This week I discovered butternut bow tie pasta which was delicious and dare I say almost healthy! Last week I did a gazpacho pasta inspired by the cold soup, oh man the flavours were intense and yummy!

Times not to forget...

Girls were brilliant yesterday despite a long day. However lesson 203 in parenting when in a rush check everything is as it should be. Most times the nipples in the bottles are in the tops when in the drying rack for some reason we had a rogue nipple that wasn't in it's top last night, and James inadvertently put it on a bottle sans nipple, this led to poor Mum and Isabel drowned in formula right before bedtime. This meant making a new bottle, changing poor screaming overtired child again stripping down my own clothes and trying to bring some semblance of order back into our lives. Looking back on it we will have to laugh but oh it wasn't so funny at the time:)

We are still in the land of limbo with a house will have to wait till Monday see if we can come up with a solution and viable offer. Least we have time.

Shall miss our weekly Monday soirée with Debbie and co. tho, but she is off taking a training class, and well we get to meet with our realtor so it's all good in the neighbourhood, and I still dream of living closer to her and Melissa oh heck I am just dreaming of being able to get out of the house safely with the girls and not break my back doing it.

It's certainly been a challenge this week as I spent last weekend in absolute agony with my back in painful spasm (joy). I didn't do anything specific but man I ended up with 2 shots in my but and a ton of painkillers muscle relaxants and anti inflamatories. I'm somewhat better at least by the end of the week but I have to be very careful lest I put it out again.

Gonna be trouble soon..

So Abigail is catching up with her sister, she is moving forward backwards, and even starting to pull herself up! We are not following her sister by the belly crawl, oh no we are full out crawling and she is more than capable of sitting herself up. I had to remove the bouncer from the living room yesterday for safety's sake. I've been worried about it for a few days now and yesterday she was pulling on it in such a way I could see her hurting herself.

On the bright side I'm proud of achieving things this morning as starting dinner tonight, for us and the twins! Still got a ways to go but looking to Austin Crispy Steak Tacos and the girls are gonna get carrot and oregano. Been trying to mix up their food a bit with some spices to make it interesting for them and to get them used to is in their food. So far so good with that experiment. Gonna just keeping adding something so hopefully when they get older they won't be too picky.

Suspense is killing me!

It feels like we are getting one step closer to having our own home. I'm trying, trying not to get my hopes up to much, but oh it's so close.

I will be disappointed if this falls through, I will be there is no denying it. This house it just crosses off too many on my wish list. Yes I can see myself living there. I keep thinking of silly things like putting my girls in the car one at a time on my own! Not breaking my back of them playing outside, then my mind switches and goes which room will be the guest room/office and which the girls room, then where do we put the litter box.

Confessions...

OK I have a confession to make...other than my niece and I'm biased there, I have to admit babies up until I had my own tended to look like, well other babies. I generally just assigned them to the ok they look cute category or wow I hope they grow up cuter than they look right now. I didn't get it. I just simply did not get it, they all more or less looked alike. One of my greatest fears was not being able to identify my own children among a mass of others if I had to. Ah but I'm a reformed woman.

Isabel, there is no doubt as to who your father is your resemblance to him is uncanny. Then Abigail my happy go lucky child smiling singing, ah you both bring joy to my heart, that quiff will not be missed in a crowd. I hope this week we will have some good news and we can think about moving into a place to be your home as you grow up, somewhere safe and happy with room to run around and get into mischief without too much fear of harm to yourself. In the meantime feel free to run amok around the living room try not to beat eat other up too much and enjoy your childhood.

Time Flies By

Ah time where art thou going? It's already near the end of June! I'm not entirely sure where the week just went. I think after a time the diapers and feeds all end up rolling into one. And at a request I'm also contemplating a photo shoot (cringe) something tells me all hands on deck for that one and it won't be easy but ya never know. The camera seems to love Abigail at least, Isabel well and the chaos! But we will see what we can do.

Looks like a good weekend to go house hunting! Maybe just maybe there is potential there, I'm crossing everything I think.

Isabel has three teeth coming through! Two bottom and a top. How fast they are growing still trying to find Abigail's first one but I can see three of Isabel's coming through.

Ah I hope we find our perfect home or not necessarily our perfect home but one with space and room for us all to grow.

My Wonderful Daughter's

How fast you are growing...Isabel moving around like there is no tomorrow, when she sees something she wants there is no stopping her, doesn't matter who or what is in her way. Then Abigail, my expressive ever so curious one, will sit happily for quite awhile and examine everything most thoroughly, including your own hands and feet. Isabel, who gets bored quickly and is constantly on the move, Abigail more at ease and able to entertain herself, how different you are from each other. However you share the drama when it comes to feeding...sheeesh I can't remember the last time we managed to have a bottle or food without crying or screeching and it's even worse when I try to feed you by myself, one of these days we may have a feed that doesn't end with someone (normally your Dad or I) pulling our hair out. Yet despite this I find myself often looking at both of you fascinated as I watch you explore the world. May you grow up to be independent and self assured and may you not fall into the traps both your Dad and I have run into.

Life's Journey

It's funny but there are certainly significant events in my life that have occurred to shape it into where I am now, but I think the steps we are taking now have never felt more important to me than anything except perhaps my wedding days. Yep I say days with a purpose. My first wedding and marriage was important because without it I wouldn't be where I am now, and at the time it was a huge thing in my life and lead indirectly to my second.

Then through the help of a lot of people I found myself again, and I found myself a man who I simply adore. From the time that I li,ved here till the last few years I have to admit I have never felt that I've really belonged tho it's hard to explain but I've felt in many ways transient. I noticed however a change the last time I went back to the UK...up until then I always referred to being with my parent's and back there as being home, but something started to change and when we left I remember saying I'm going home referring instead to coming back to California I called it home.

And now our roots are being planted we are looking for a house a house, never thought I's see the day.

Baby showers and some fun

How things have changed...the last baby shower other than my own that I went to I did abysmally with the games and I mean baaad.  This time I was winning, something must have changed :)

The girls now fit into some of the 9mth clothes...not all of them but the ones that size up smaller scary.  How fast they are growing!

Abigail gave me another bad night, to the point where it woke up her Dad and we had to give her a bottle in the end /sigh.

Isabel on the other hand is busy working on her floor exercises :)   Abigail is working on catching up but so far has only succeeded in going backwards but I'm sure she will continue to wok on those skills.

Attempting to get out

Ok~so  4 am the girls wake up, not just your stirring but wide awake hi!  So I tried to get them settled again for another hour to no avail so woke up poor James and we got bottles into them and they fortunately went back to sleep again till about 7:3o or so.  Then...oh boy awake until 11 am with full force, finally after their 9 am feed and a quick shower for me I decide I'll take them outside, urgh is all I'm going to say to that.  I decided in my infinite wisdom to try to sit outside with a few toys round the back of the apartment, how hard can that be I ask myself...back breaking and stressful is the answer I come back with.  So I pack a bag put a few toys in it and load Abigail up into the carrier get Isabel on my hip and march off to the car and grab the picnic blanket, so far so good...then I get out back it's damp on the grass so I definitely need the blanket except I have two bags two children and nowhere to put anything until I get the blanket unrolled.  Em ok, well the bags I have with me are waterproof sorta so they go on the ground now I still have one arm occupied by a child and another hanging around my middle and I still have to unroll the blanket, I can say it's not easy.  Anyways I manage to unroll things get the kids on the blanket out with the toys and for about an hour everything went well.  They were quieter than they were in the apartment and a little more occupied at least.  

Then they get tired, will they go to sleep outside...no, and admittedly it was a bit chilly even in the shade and I didn't pack a blanket to cover them, BIG mistake I had packed bottles but not a blanket and it's not like I can run back indoors even tho I'm staring at my windows and leave the girls alone.  F#$@k this place, seriously, so that means I have to pack everything back up again and get us all back into the apartment...oh wait so I get the bags loaded the kids loaded then the sodding picnic blanket it still on the ground and how the hell do I get that me everything else back up to the apartment?!  So I just grabbed a corner and marched back up leaving the keys to the apartment in the pocket of the arm carrying a child, so now I have to somehow get into that pocket for the keys oh JOY, trying to juggle a child  with another in the middle ARGH!

Least if I was on the ground floor I could keep the push chair in the apartment load everything up into it wheel it out!  And not have to negotiate the sodding stairs what a concept that would be and a relief.

Lessons in raising twins in an apartment...

Lesson 1...if you are on the 2nd floor or higher of an apartment complex and don't have a lift/elevator move before they are born give yourself a break, first 5 months or so it's OK, after that it's a bloody nightmare so unless you have a 2nd person to help you on a daily basis go up and down the stairs MOVE!  Get a ground floor apartment or a place with an elevator / private ground entrance where I am currently it's nigh on impossible to get out.  My options amount to leaving one child in the apartment alone...go to the car strap 2nd child into car, lock car go back to apartment get other child...at all times during this operation one child is always out of sight.  Alternatively I strap one into a carrier take other and put under arm, load the bags up over the other shoulder and walk down the stairs trying to make sure we all don't take a nose dive.  Either way is this a safe practice I have to ask myself and honestly I'm not happy with either arrangement not to mention the strain it's starting to put on my back as they are getting heavier, carrying 2 children is no mean feat I can tell you, and the thought of not having line of sight on anything just scares me silly, not being able to see the car or the front door.  But the trouble is they are getting bored at home so I really do need to go out.  Any suggestions as to how to solve this dilemma would be gladly accepted at this point.

Lesson 2...if you do manage to get out after that make sure you take about a dozen pacifiers with you secreted in every handbag/diaper bag that you take with you and better yet put one in every pocket that way you will always find one and not be in a panic after struggling to get back up the stairs with 2 babies, 2 bags and trying to find one that has dropped.  Trust me someone will drop a pacifier and you will be in an exhausted panic trying to get them quiet just so you can peel everyone and thing off of your person.

Urgh I hope we can get a house...and I hope we can break the lease somehow.  I'm virtually house bound right now, it was so lovely to take the girls to the park this morning too, I got the picnic blanket out and we were laying on the grass just enjoying the lovely weather but it was such a hassle to come back home again and get into the apartment and the sheer effort of it all makes me only want to do it once a week.  I really have to be a sight to be seen and as yet I have yet to have one person offer to help me up to the apartment, not one, even if it's to carry a bag!

Ok enough of feeling sorry for myself, we still had a lovely time today at the park, hopefully on the weekend we can get Dad go with us so we can take a turn on the swings :)

How Time Flies...

Time is just flying by now at a rate of knots, we are now halfway through May the girls are almost 7 months old and growing and learning in leaps and bounds.  We are now seriously having to look at baby proofing the home as Isabel is showing signs that in a week or so she is going to be crawling, it seems like only yesterday they were totally helpless and now look at them.  Both can stand aided, Isabel will sit on her own. Ah, children.  What is amazing is how different the two of them are from each other each with their own distinct personalities.  Abigail is easily amused and will laugh at the silliest of things, Isabel is more more serious yet inquisitive yet the most active.  She wants to know what is going on she is also the one getting up and going and going....

Trials of bedtime...

So right now we are experiencing fun trying to get the girls to bed.  Recently we moved them into the nursery and their own cribs...touble is we have yet to really have a normal night.  There are a lot of new things that they are having to deal with in their such as no longer being swaddled (/cry) they are both suck with the viral infection that I have had as well.  This basically is resulting in little or no sleep for nearly all of us except Dad which is probably just as well as he has to go to work.  I'm somewhat waiting for him to have a free weekend he's not had one in awhile and guiltily praying he might take over for one night in getting up although I don't hold much hope as he just doesn't hear things like I do even with a baby monitor.  I think it's a mother's intuition half the time.

The Little Things In Life

I almost feel like writing a Dear Abi letter as I sit here at 3:30 am in the morning watching and listening to my babies sleeping.  This is the first time where either of them have been sick.  Abigail's temperature shot up to 102.8 this evening and ended up with all 4 of us heading over to the ER.  After a dose of tylenol and motrin it went back down under 100 and they deemed we could all go home again.  However!  6 hours later and the fever is back...I'm just sitting here and waiting for the tylenol to work it's magic again.  I feel like Abi needs me to just every now and then reassure her I'm there..I've spent the last hour and a half sitting on a stool with my hands through the slats of her crib just holding her hand and stroking her head trying to comfort her not wanting to pick her up and create more heat from the contact between us yet let her know I'm here.

Funny thing is as I'm sitting here in the dark trying to be of some comfort to my eldest daughter I'm also thinking and wondering how many sleepless nights are to come in the next few years trying to take care of a sick child.  Probably best not to dwell too much on that and just focus on the current crisis but hey it does have me thinking.

Oh to parenthood and to a greater respect for my Mum who must have had countless interrupted night's sleep like myself to raise my sister and I.  I really do believe this has given me a new sense of what my parent's sacrificed now.

Mum's in Town!

Ok I still don't have a whole lot of time to myself but I have caught up a bit on sleep.  Mum's rock...don't care who you are Mum's just rock least mine does.  Bless you, I'm only sorry I will have to return her to the rest of the family but it's given me a bit of a break the last week or so.  The girls are growing up so quickly!  Isabel is standing fairly well with a bit of assistance and Abigail is doing her best to try to catch up!

We are day dreaming about the possibility of trying to own our own home next year (I think we may still be dreaming but hey we might try after all what is the worst that can happen?)  We get turned down...oh well but it could be worth the headache.  Course we will probably have to come up with a large down payment but it would be almost worth it to have a place to bring the girls up in.  And the prospect of not having to move pay pet deposit etc is very tempting and oh do I want to move back to Livermore baad.

Ah well it's time for me to head to bed need my husband to drag me there as I'm just about sunk into the sofa and unable to move, some nights I need a crane to move my sorry ass out of the chair.

I spent the afternoon looking at old tv shows and playing clips to my girls of programs I grew up with.  It's amazing how things have changed over the years.  How myths about some things have started and also amazing who we can forget.  I was going through programs like the Clangers, Rainbow, Rentaghost....and remembered Jackanory oh how I loved that segment each weekday being read a story.  In looking on the internet I was reminded about a wonderfully talented actor who used to read for us on a regular basis, Kenneth Williams.  I didn't realize he took his own life in the end, and I have to admit I remember fondly his facial expressions and voices such a rare talent.  (Drifts on down memory lane)  I could get lost there for hours if I so wished, they just don't make programs and people like they used to.

Crazy Days

One thing I'll have to say is life is never dull now. Weeks seem to slip by so quickly we barely have time to breathe sometimes. We somehow manage to make time for us once the girls are asleep at least, and from what I hear we seem to have it better than some so I guess things could be far worse.

I was lying in bed last night and just resting against James with my eyes closed trying to remember what it was like those first few weeks when we came home from the hospital. The sleep deprivation, the constant worry, getting snappish at each other from just sheer frustration at not getting enough rest. I often remind myself when I am tired now after wrestling with the twins all day trying to get them fed and settled after each feed and getting them ready to go out for their walk that things really were worse. We at least get smiles and giggles from them which is almost reward enough.

James had a half day today and it was nice to have him home early. We spent the afternoon running around doing errands...including banking, so long BofA and your stupid penny pinching fees, hello Credit Union and no fees thank you very much.

Weekend will be interesting as we are putting the mini van into the shop to have the mechanics do a once over on it and see if it needs any major repairs etc. and as I still want to fit in the farmers market on Saturday morning before the appointment it's going to be interesting, I would love for us all to go to the market but I wonder at the sanity in that and if perhaps just one of us might make a better option.

So looking forward to next week and Granny Apple's visit and tho it might be for three weeks and it seems a long time I fear it will go far too quickly! Ah well must make the most of it while she is here.

Dinner smells great tonight! I'm baking some Caribbean Chicken Wings...will have to see if they taste as good as they smell, but I did marinate them overnight so they should taste yummy. I should probably be working on the shopping list for next week while James is out but I might just leave it till we put the girls down and we get some peace and quiet later. I'm very lucky that he's really taken a very active role in helping with everything :)

I will try to post some pictures and videos up over the weekend too, it's just hard to do much of anything during the week as almost guaranteed during the day I am holding one or the other of the girls at the moment, if I am not then I'm out taking them for a walk as well to just try and wear them out.

The hard moments...

There is nothing worse than trying to comfort a infant who is crying desperately with tears in her eyes and then having the other one then start up and watching your husband struggle with the frustrations of not being able to help her.  We went through another of these episodes tonight.  It's tough Abigail was crying her heart out and we just couldn't figure out what the problem was I think she was doing this for nearly an hour or more and nothing we did seem to help her.  Finally we resorted to some tylenol, followed by a bottle with some of Isabel's antacid in it.  It's difficult to tell if she might be teething (although other than drool we can't find or see anything else obvious), however, she had done a considerable amount of spit up this evening after her feed and we are wondering if she has a touch of the same thing Isabel has and in desperation and all that we are just about willing to try anything to bring her some relief.  Heck I tried water in a bottle to try and help calm her after all she was just so worked up.

I put it all down to the trials of being a beginner parent.  In the end I could see how frustrated James was getting and tried to get him to leave me with both the children and just get away for 10 minutes or so and calm down.  I am by far from the perfect parent I have yelled at my kids, cried, snarled, called them names when unable to get them to settle down.  But at the end of the day it's not their fault and I have to remind myself that.  Yes I take it out on the cats that get under feet the moment I get up to go make the bottles...that want their fair share of attention when I'm trying to give my attention to my daughters.  I would like to say James when you are calm again and relaxed just think about it this way it was really only a short period of time that world war III was happening really it was.  Think about it...you got home at 4 and the girls weren't that bad...and we got through most of dinner too after dinner was obviously another story but was it all that bad in the end?  And unlike many parents it's now 9pm the kids are in the crib and blessedly silent.  Calmness reigns in the house...I know it was a rough day at work I can't do much about that sorry.  And yes I know I did a booboo taking the kids out as I did I just didn't think too much about what I was doing at the time.  But now you can reflect on it I hope it wasn't that bad.

I'm sure other parents go through this we can't be immune.  Heck I heard Jo spent the first 3 mths with Khia sleeping in her arms if not more we got to 8 weeks and then in the crib they went and have been there ever since.  Our youngest daughter is already feeding herself!  That's months ahead of the norm and you had that wonderful moment this evening sitting on the floor with her feeding her and watching her go for the spoon and actually enjoying her food.  Take comfort in their achievements darling rather than their short comings.  And hey they will get better than the cats coz eventually they will be able to tell us what is wrong rather than us trying to guess unlike said cats, the kids will learn I promise the cats well yes, I love em dearly but they are just not going to learn like our baby girls will.

Remember back to the days where we really had even less of a clue than we do now, those first few nights we had with the girls.  Then bringing them home.  I remember the car seats on the floor of the living room and thinking to myself em ok now what.  The nights of very little sleep feeding them every 2 or 3 hours...being too afraid to put them in the crib yet knowing it was for the best but knowing also the moment they were put in there and left alone they were crying.

Are our girls going to hate us as they grow older for not taking away their pain and hurt and not comforting them during nights like tonight?  I doubt it...we did everything we could for Abigail we fed her, we changed her, we walked around with her, we sang to her, we tried to entice her attention with toys, I tried a teething ring too, nothing seemed to work for the poor little soul.  Yet now she is fast asleep probably plain out exhausted from a frustrating evening for all.  But she is happy and content, I hear her breathing so I am not worried about her at the moment.

We will weather this time.  Don't beat yourself up too much my love.  And I'm sorry for also having a go at you as well.  It's hard I know I'm not supposed to it got to me too and instead of taking it out on the girls I took it out on you I know I did.  We were both frustrated.  I think tho as long as we recognize it for what it is and don't place blame we should be fine.  I wish I could have had an extra pair of hands believe me.  It's ok baby really it is, this is something neither of us were really prepared for so it's ok.  Lets just keep moving on learn from our mistakes.

Time just flys by...

My days are filled with taking care of the girls...they seem to be sleeping longer at night which is a blessed relief.  I do wonder sometimes if I interact enough with them but they smile a lot so I don't think are suffering too much from lack of attention at least.  I should try to get out more the weather right now is more or less against me tho and at this age wet and chilly just doesn't seem like fun for them or for me when it gets warmer I'll make sure we go out more.

I do get frustrated from time to time.  I think it's just tiredness it's hard to get things done when I start half the time I have to stop in the middle to take care of a crying baby.  I do hope it will get a bit easier as they get older.  The last few weeks in the news we have had a woman give birth to octuplets that is causing a lot of controversy specially as she already has six other children under the age of seven.  Personally I think she is nuts and I really don't know how she expects to take care of them I have to wonder how much attention she even paid her older children.  Just makes me feel sad for the babies rather than her.

Anyway, I wanted to post a video of the babies lying together on the floor and Abigail with something on her mind...

Way over due for a post...

Ok I'm way overdue to make a post here and I have been meaning to say something here the last few days since the new President took office. I was able to sit and watch the inauguration on Tuesday while my girls were in and out of naps. I'm a total basket case when it comes to grand ceremonies and big events and glad that I was at home alone with the girls (who are far to young to care and poke fun at their mother). But I found it a very emotional event, I know I said awhile back to my husband that no matter what the next president would make history be it Barrack Obama or Hilary Clinton, something told me that McCain really stood no chance. The country as a whole was dying for change and Palin was such an odd choice of Vice President he really shot himself in the foot and placed the final few nails in the coffin as it were.

It's nice to have a younger president in office and someone who just feels a bit more in touch with the people, there have been so many days where I've sat here thinking does Bush really have a clue...he made so many bad judgement calls in my opinion I honestly have little regard for the man and I'm glad to see him gone. I hope Obama turns out to be a good president. I'm not sure he's going to be able to achieve everything he hopes but I just hope he is honest enough as politicians go. I dunno but I so feel like a lot of the politicians cater to the baby boomers and are really ignoring the new generation that is up coming and are getting out of touch with them. This was the first election in a long time that the younger generations took more of an active role and I think the result of who our current president is shows the power that we have. I can certainly say to my girls look here look at this man it doesn't matter who you are you can make something of yourself.

Talking of the girls we are now having conversations with Mum and Dad...smiling a lot more holding onto our fingers. Make stink bombs of diapers, soy formula isn't the most forgiving to the nostrils. I'm getting a bit more time during the day to do housework, I've also become an avid Rachael Ray fan, and I'm enjoying cooking again thanks to her inspiration. I also love her web site as it makes searching for recipes easy and makes finding ideas for using up ingredients easy! And given I've not seen most of her shows until I stopped working I can easily watch repeats! The show is also nice and kid friendly so I don't have to worry too much about violence...I am not overly anal about TV with the babies but I am aware too much too TV is bad and I don't want them to rely on it to entertain themselves.

And talking of kids I have a little stink bomb and crying baby to take care of :)